I'm Alive

I just took a test. I would liken it unto being thrown into a pit of ravenous lions, expecting to die. Yet somehow, miraculously, you come out the other end alive. Sure you might be a little scratched and beaten, but you're alive. I survived it. I've been given the gift of life.

Assumptions

In Statistics, we assume things. We have to. But we do our best to make sure those assumptions are justified before moving forward with our work. I've recently found that checking assumptions is also important for life. For instance, we often assume when we sit down in a public restroom that there is toilet paper in the toilet paper dispenser. Few of us ever check this assumption before we proceed. Generally, this doesn't cause any problems. But every so often we find that our initial assumption was wrong, and the result isn't pretty. If you've never had to do the Stall-to-Stall-Shuffle, I feel sorry for you; you're missing out on a great life lesson.

The Vicious Cycle Continues

I’m in a Business Writing class and it has become apparent over the last week that sometimes there isn’t a right answer. The professor made it clear that language has evolved over time and continues to evolve today. The word text used to be a noun, but its most common usage today is as a verb. He also made it clear that there’s no such thing as the “grammar police”; nobody anywhere in America gets paid to or has authority to decide what is and is not appropriate grammar. Rather, people who correct you for using a word wrong are generally insecure and feel the need to assert their supposed superiority over others. According to my professor, an educated person understands that language is always changing and no rule is set in stone.

And yet I’m in this class. The reason given is that in the business world it’s important to represent yourself appropriately. People will make judgments about you based on the way you speak and write. Those judgments can have effect if you get hired, win the bid on a contract, etc.

This sparks an interesting thought: If nobody in the business world had ever taken Business Writing, or anything like unto it, then hypothetically they’d have no reference by which to make these judgments. Therefore it would appear that the only reason I need to take Business Writing is because other people have taken and are taking it. The only reason the next generation will take it is to avoid the judgments our generation became capable of making when we took it.

Who’s on first? Who. I mean the guy on first base. Who. The guy playing first base for St. Louis. Who is on first! No, I’m asking you who’s on first?!

Who throw's a shoe? Honestly now...

Well I've seen the video and heard the commentary, but I think everybody is missing one key point. Did you see how quick George W. was? The man has cat-like reflexes. I know there's a lot of people out there who have bad things to say about the President, but honestly, anybody that can move like that deserves four more years. I say we get him and Obama together for a game of dodgeball, winner takes the oval office. Seriously look at the Iraqi prime minister, he doesn't even realized what's happened yet. Can somebody say Flash Gordon?

Can't you smell that smell?

"The whole is greater than the sum of it's parts." I fully believe that because when I walk into my apartment it reeks. There's some smell that accosts you when you walk through the door. Yet I've searched the whole apartment and I can't find anything that smells like it. I can't even find one thing that smells bad. Yet somehow all of the different parts have combined to form one putrescent experience.

Take my advice...

When I was in sixth grade my teacher told me that I'd better master writing in cursive because when I got to high school all my teachers would make me use it. Once I got there my teachers wouldn't accept anything unless it was typed.
In college my advisor made me take generals that would help me to branch out as a person because it was important to be well rounded in today's market place. All the employers I'm talking to now just want to now if I've passed the actuarial tests or not. Nobody asked if I took Art History.
I've been thinking about the advice I was given growing up. Advice such as, "Take responsibility for your actions. If you mess up, admit it and move one. Don't blame your decisions on others."

I guess that stuff wasn't true either.

Parmesan Cheese

Can you smell it? Does the very mention of the word conjure up a memory bank full of tasteful experiences? If you can't smell it I suggest you stop what your doing right now, including reading this, walk over to the fridge, pull out the green tube (regardless of brand, it's always a universally recognizable green), open it up, and take a good whiff. The verb smell doesn't really connote what we do with a cheese. Whiff is much more descriptive of the act. Then take another moment to smell it, more than just a whiff. Inhale it. Feel the deep aroma of the Parmesan enter your nose and travel into your lungs. If you really focus, you'll feel the smell make itself at home there. Take another deep breath and pay attention as the pungency circles around and curls up like a kitten in your chest.
Is it a good smell? Does it remind you of pasta or a golden brown breast of chicken parmesan, crusted to perfection? You've craved it before, haven't you? Wasn't there a time when the spaghetti just didn't seem too great because the parmesan cheese was missing? It is a good smell.
Now imagine opening an expired carton of milk and taking a whiff (it really is a whiff, isn't it?). Imagine smelling that same parmesan smell emanating from the milk carton ; it makes you want to throw up. Same smell, different context.
Not something you want on your Fruit Loops.